Friday, July 12, 2013

Losing Count


I have found a new way to punish myself.

Counting to fifty should not be difficult. Not for a grown man. But on more than a few occasions recently I have been in the midst of a set of pushups and lost count of how many I’ve done. This happens mainly because I have this habit of not counting by ones.

Sometimes I’ll count to ten, then instead of eleven I’ll say ‘one’ and proceed to nine, followed by ‘twenty’. Then back to one, up to nine and then ‘thirty’ and so forth. And whether from a lack of blood reaching my brain due to the ongoing physical strain or a lack of brain cells from my ongoing brain-cell-challenged life, I will sometimes forget what should be coming after one of the nines.

On occasion I will count to twenty, then twenty again, then finish off the set by counting to ten. This should lend itself to fewer mistakes; how can one possibly forget whether this is the first ‘twenty’ or the second?

I don’t know. But it happens.

And when it does? I punish myself. I take the lower count and continue. If I don’t know if I should be saying thirty or forty, I say thirty and keep going. If I don’t know if I’ve done twenty or forty pushups I call it twenty and go from there. (Sometimes I have a real hard time pounding out fifty and have to suspect I’ve actually done seventy but into the books goes another set of fifty.

If I keep punishing myself this way maybe I’ll eventually start paying more attention.

Maybe I should just count by ones.